Constant Confusion, my adolescence. Depressive feelings, it's reminiscent of how I used to cope and used to run. Away from my friends they all think I'm burned out but truthfully I'm just your basic letdown. Self confidence is something that I struggle with. As the climate shifts, into dark and rainy fits, I think of how I wish I could get over this. My disposition stays, this must be more than a phase. My average day to me is my dismay. Bearing a countenance much better fit for sad songs, cigarettes, and old cassettes. It's my surroundings I've grown accustomed to. Screaming inside my head I can't get out can't figure out why everything I wear is colored black and despondent, dismal, destroyed, and downcast. It's a dreary look, but damn I wear it good, as I think of how I wish I didn't feel so sick every time I look your way. My bones they feel decayed. It's getting worse. But at least, I found the source. I think I'm finally caring. I think I'm getting there. And so my story goes, I'm just way too slow to keep up with the times. Hell, I"m always wasting mine. I'll hide myself away, social media and better pay are distant days. Why would I become something I hate?
Track Name: 490
Where do you find the strength to live like this? Hiding yourself you pretend to exist. From clinic to calling you slip from my grasp. Ghostly, yet living, you discount our past. I've tried to move on, but I'm facing the facts. Are you facing the fact that we're never going back? Now I'm sick to my stomach and everything hurts. You've moved on now that's the last that I've heard. It's funny how things change when you don't know yourself. We've fought and we've battled, you've given me hell. I'm prideful and bitter, but I think that it helps. Do you think that this helps? Tell me 'cause I can't tell. And there's an emptiness within that fills the open space inside my aching chest, punctured by your flaming sword. Collapsing both my lungs, I can't be the only one that thought we were safe. Why can't I see we've seen our last days?